There’s a scene in one of the Divergent films, I think it’s the last one (and I’m not watching it again just to tell you)
Tris goes into fear simulation training.
In the sequence, she’s put through a series of tests and has to work her way through them, in the training, every time she surrenders; accepts that what’s going on isn’t real and the scenario changes. She wins; she breaks free.
Now obviously, real life doesn’t work quite like the training sequence in a dystopian movie (or book as it originally is) And things don’t just magically transform or change the second we decide they should, or we realise they’re not “right” in some way… there’s a little more work to do. But the key point to all of it is surrender, then figuring out what the next move is… and much like the moves Tris makes in the simulation, the next move is usually quite small; surrender to the fact that it’s not real, sink into the water, tap the glass; these create huge changes.
For Tris, the simulation changes.
What happens for us?
Are we not living in a simulation?
We’re living in a reality based on what we see, feel, hear, are/have been taught… we believe it as though it is real. The truth for us.
I for one have been living in this simulated reality that doesn’t work well for me.
For the past 13 weeks, I’ve been in counselling, digging deep, baring all, figuring out why I feel the way I do about my life. It wasn’t good, and it certainly wasn’t pleasant.
I’ve been living to prescribed patterns.
Living with other people’s perceptions/lessons/fears/beliefs/doubts I’ve been scared of showing up, being myself and potentially putting other people out. I’ve been following rules and structures, doing things that don’t suit me or believing I should.
It turns out I’m fundamentally incapable of doing things I don’t wanna do, which I then beat myself up for because “why aren’t I doing things that are so freaking simple?!” (Think housework… I hate housework, and generally leave/avoid it as long as possible)
I’m terrible at following rules, doing things just because they’re expected, or “the done thing”
I’m forever figuring my way out of stuff instead of just accepting it for what it is, and deciding it’s done. Always. Every day. On repeat. About everything.
Whether it’s the money stuff, the bills that need paying, the house stuff, the work stuff, the kids stuff, the health stuff, the other stuff, the stuff stuff… yeah, it goes on.
I said recently I feel like I’ve been drowning since 2006. Sinking in quicksand, struggling to break free, constantly thrashing and grasping, teaching for the next thing, and the next, trying to keep my head above ground, keep myself from sinking further… what happens if I stop thrashing? If I let go? Surrender?
What happens when I’m face down, sinking deeper into the slurry and I decide to dive into the he water head first… where will it take me? I won’t be stuck anymore… I’ll be free from the grip of the quicksand, swimming freely in the water to find my way through to somewhere new.
I’m no longer going to try to fight my way through.
This is the reality.
I see you, I raise you my dreams.
What I want, how I want. How I see it as being.
This is by no means me saying I’m going to ignore what’s going on. I’m not. But it won’t be my focus.
The problem should NEVER be the focus.
The solution should.
And if that means taking a look around, deciding that this is too much, and all the things I’ve tried aren’t working, then fuck it… I’m gonna go for a swim. Explore something new, something different.
Eventually, a solution to the problem will show up… I’ll find a way through it, or under it, or over it.
I’ll start to utilise what’s around me to fix the problem.
Use the problem to fix the problem?
Fight fire with fire? Why not? It could work…
Or I’ll try something completely new and different to the way I thought things had to be, and I’ll break the system and blow this whole thing outta the water.
After all, the end goal of the factions was to find the Divergent… so why are we holding on so desperately to working ONE way?
I get it. We’ve all been there, so let’s sort this shit out
It sucks, right?
That shitty low feeling where you just feel down, deflated, pissed off with the world for no reason, and you’ve just had enough.
You’re not particularly angry, or sad, or maybe you are, maybe you’re just feeling “ugh!” (yes, that’s a real feeling) that kinda nothingness where you know something’s up, but you’re not quite sure what.
Well, how about we get right in there and sort that shit out?
This is my personal 5-Step Reset that I go through to get me from Feelin’ Like Shit to Rockin’ It!
I’m not saying it’ll be fun n easy, there’s no magic cure, but this works, every time.
I come back to this all the time, and I’ve shared it with my closest friends when they’re having a shitty day (or a week, or month, or however long) and it works for them too…
So how about it, are you done feelin’ like shit? Are you ready? Let’s go
Drop your details into the form, and I’m gonna send you over a quick audio that talks you through the 5 steps I take, that are going to help you go from
Feelin’ Like Shit to Rockin’ It!