Today I let my future self decide…
I woke up at a decent time, jumped straight out of bed, and by 7:45 I was making a cup of coffee… the dishwasher and washing machine both getting to work, and breakfast being made.
It’s a good start to the day.
Then the day went off-kilter a little… I lost track of what I wanted to do. What I was supposed to be doing.
There was nothing in that the kids wanted for dinner. They were holding court that they wanted to bake, but we didn’t have the stuff in for that either.
I wasn’t in the mood for baking, or doing a big shop… in fact, I wasn’t in the mood for cooking anything spectacular for dinner at all. I would have been OK with pizza… maybe. But I didn’t want pizza.
I decided I shouldn’t be in charge today
Now, as a single mum, that’s not an easy decision to make. It’s up to me to sort everything out, unless I wanted to hand over all the big decisions to the kids… and that wasn’t going to happen.
So, instead of falling back into my old ways – the ones I know haven’t been serving me, I let someone new take charge of the day…
I let Future Debbie take over.
Future Debbie is the vision I have for myself 5 years from now. She’s got her shit together, in a way I haven’t had or years. She’s happy and successful, knows what she wants and how to get it.
Her life’s pretty well put together, she’s in control of her life, and she’s a pro at hitting all of her goals… she’s healthy, has a happy home, and she doesn’t want to declare a duvet day at 8am just because she can’t be bothered to go shopping.
She’s the perfect person to let take charge of today!
Let’s face it, if I don’t let Future Debbie take charge, she’s never going to become a reality. If I keep falling back into old routines, nothing’s going to change…. I’ll still be this version of myself 5 years from now, and, as much as I’m learning to love who I am, I don’t want that.
So Future Debbie it is!
Now, one of the things I struggle with daily, is what to eat… what I want, what I fancy, what I have in, what the kids will eat… now, I’m pretty lucky in the sense that my kids will eat pretty much whatever I put in front of them, but they still have their moments where they’d rather eat pizza than a plate of roasted veg with chicken and cous cous… they find both delicious, but sometimes they just want simple ‘kid friendly’ food. I’ve been guilty of falling into the junk food safety net and just going with it, but I know deep down that it won’t serve me, not now, not in the future, and it won’t serve my kids futures.
So this was where Future Debbie stepped up her game today…
What would my Future Self do about lunch?
There wasn’t much food in, I didn’t want to go shopping, the kids had already made it clear that they wanted to bake, and an easy meal was definitely on the cards… until…
My future self decided we’d go shopping, but only after she’s decided on what to have for dinner… no browsing my way down to the pizza! No listening to ‘Mum, can we have (insert junk food here)… ” followed by moaning and complaining that they weren’t getting their own way.
I know that to get my own way, I just have to declare whatever I’m making as “Mums magical… whatever” for the little one to pay attention. Then get them involved in making it, so there’s a lower risk of hearing “I don’t like that” when it gets on the plate
So that’s what we did… Future Debbie, decided on “Mums magical chicken wraps” for lunch… went to the shop and bought all the ingredients, came home, had the kids helped prep, stack and wrap, and lunch went from stressful to stress free!
Now this my seem like an odd story to share… but when we’re stuck in the ‘now’ it’s easy to fall into old habits.
We’re not designed for long term goals and our brains easily fall back into old habits.
It goes against everything we should be doing if we want to change and improve our lives.
But having a Future Self you can hand over the reigns to when things are getting tough, we can start to break the old habits and get a little closer to the person we want to become.
I made a commitment to myself, and to my Future Self, that whenever I feel stuck, or notice I’m sinking back into my old ways, I’m going to let Future Debbie take control. She’s going to run the show until I get my energy levels back on track, and feel like I can focus on what needs to be done.
I’m aware that may make me sound batshit crazy, but it works.
It’s like asking someone else to drive on a long trip – it’s always easier if the other person knows what they’re doing.
Just because that person is still you, it doesn’t make it any different.
Build a version of who you want to be.
Learn how you will act and behave when you’re your Best Self.
Learn from those cues, and live as you want to be, and eventually, you will be exactly where you dream of being.
In this example, it’s knowing how Future Debbie would react to lunch, but it could be anything from buying something you love, even if it costs more than you would currently spend, owning the meeting at work, voicing your opinion/argument instead of hiding away in fear of judgement, ridicule or contest.
Your Future Self has your back.
You can lead yourself to the greatness you deserve.
Is there any part of your life where you currently feel like you’re lacking? Do you know how your Future Self would react in that situation?
Why not let them take over the next time the circumstance rises.
Watch your life transform before your very eyes.
You got this!