The weird sounds?
Passing traffic? The neighbour heading out to work?
Your lack of progress?
The errands list that never ends?
All the things you need to do
All the things you haven’t done
All the things you want…
The restlessness of your mind
That restlessness you feel deep within your chest
That restricted feeling
That tension, like you’re holding something in that desperately wants to get out.
Like you’re holding in a scream
One you can’t let out cos you’ll wake the kids.
It’s that same feeling that you have as you envision throwing your stuff at the wall, or outside before setting that shit on fire.
It’s you fucking everything up because you can’t be bothered to make waves or rock the boat.
You don’t want to “cause a scene” or have to defend yourself
It’s you refusing to step the hell up and do what needs to be done to reach your goals!
the inner you
the future you
the You who you dream of
who you talk about one day being.
It’s the version of you that you’ve locked away, held back, refused to let live, speak, be known.
THAT‘s what keeps you awake at night.