Today’s the day!

This is it, the end of the road…

It’s time to say goodbye

Goodbye to the bullshit, the lies, the drama… the struggle, the holding on, and “just getting by” 

It’s time to say Goodbye to all that bullshit, once and for all. 

I don’t need it

I don’t want it

I sure as hell shouldn’t have it. 

I’m saying Goodbye to all the crap I’ve carried around inside me for so long

The pain, doubts, fear, the “what if’s…” and “can I…” and “Should I…”

The waiting for permission… not wanting to rock the boat, or upset people. 

Wanting to hold back, keep quiet, just in case… 

Taking the judgement, the shame, the pity… 

Treating it as my own 

Carrying it like a burden, cos I, God forbid, I should live my life for me, not to appease others

I’m calling bullshit

Calling bullshit on myself… and my bullshit. And your bullshit, and all the other bullshit

Why shouldn’t I live my best life… for me, my kids… our lives, our future… because someone else might feel let down or inferior in some way?

Well… if they do (you do?) then shape the fuck and start doing something in your own life. 

Don’t tear ME down!

I do that well enough on my own! I don’t need your fucking help.

It’s already been a tough year… this grownup shit’s hard

I’ve been fighting with myself a lot… What I want to do, what I feel I need to do, and then what I feel or am told I should do… It’s been one hell of a battle. 

I’m tired.  Exhausted.  Drained.  Fed up.

It’s taking it’s toll

Mentally, emotionally, physically… they’re all connected. 

It’s a state of mind. 

And if your mind is fucked, then it won’t be long until the rest of you is. 

Believe me, I know… I’ve been living it. 

Enough is enough!

I’m not being that person anymore. 

I’m too lazy for that… I can’t be bothered with the stress and the headache and the hard work.

I want it easy

And the easiest way is to be Me and do things my way. 

The way they are in my brain, my heart, my soul

It has to be (cos the other way has been hell) 

Now this is where people get me wrong… they think because I want my life easy that I’m afraid to do the hard work, or to work hard… I’m not. Far from it. 

I’m unwilling to do work that drains me… takes everything from me, and brings me no joy, no happiness, and doesn’t seem to get me anywhere. 

Sure as hell I’ll work HARD, and I’ll do what I need for what I want. 

But if it ain’t floating my boat, then I ain’t being dragged down in a sinking ship. 

It’s time. 

It’s time to burn this shit down to the ground. 

I’m saying goodbye to my old self. 

There’s a new me here now, and she’s done with the bullshit. 

I’m not holding myself back anymore. 

I can’t afford to.

 

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