debbiebradley“Well, Me, obviously, duh!” 🙄
What kind of stupid question is that, really?
But stick with me…
Look in the mirror.
What do you see?
You?
Is that really you?
The version of you that’s in your mind all day?
The version of you that walks around in your dreams?
The “you” who’s kicking ass and taking names?
You, who has the life of their dreams?
Who loves every inch of themselves?
Who takes care of themselves without fail?
Is the person looking back at you happy in all areas of their life?
Are they working on the next big thing?
Do you see the best version of you?
I didn’t.
This, as crazy as it may sound, is one of my favourite exercises. We look (glance) in the mirror every day, but how often do we really look at ourselves?
We check our hair, our makeup, our outfit, the extra lbs we’re hiding under our clothes… we take snapshots of ourselves in split seconds, but when was the last time you looked at yourself as a whole? Looked yourself in the eye and really took in who you are in that moment?
At one point, I didn’t even own a mirror… it’s an easy way to never look in
one.
Now I have a few scattered through the house. It’s amazing how many times you end up seeing yourself in the mirror unintentionally as you go about your day – especially if you work from home like I do.
But this is not about a passing place, it’s about really looking at yourself, taking it all in. Looking into your eyes and really seeing what’s going on.
So, stop.
Don’t just glance, go to the mirror intentionally. Take a few minutes, let the woman looking back at you tell you how it is.
Pay attention to her. How does she look?
Tired?
Bloated?
Sad?
Drained?
Does she have dull skin and dark circles under her eyes?
Is her hair limp and lifeless.
Are her eyes dull and sad?
Almost lifeless?
What’s her posture like?
Is she stood tall, head held high, or is she stooped, her shoulders curled forwards, heavy, weighted down with all the shit that’s on her mind?
Sometimes this is hard to look at.
Especially when you remember how she used to be, how she sometimes is in fleeting moments.
Lit up, confident, happy, smiling, relaxed, shoulders back, head held high…
In those moments, she’s the woman that can take on the world and will leave a path of destruction in her wake.
In those moments, nothing can stop her, and you just know that she is the woman that gets whatever she wants.
Not because she begs and pleads for it, but because she expects to.
She’s the woman you see when you close your eyes and think of a better day.
She’s the woman you knew you’d always be, but that’s not who you’re seeing right now.
No, she’s in there though.
You can see her, just there… deep within.
“The eyes are the window to the soul”
And when you look at that tired, worn out girl staring back at you, when you look her REAL close in the eye… past the sadness, the tiredness, the heaviness of living this life you don’t love.
When you look deep beyond that, it’s there.. that glint, that spark.
That fire hidden deep within.
That’s her.
That’s the badass within who’s been locked away.
She’s not gone, sometimes forgotten, but never gone… she’s just waiting.
Waiting for you to notice that she’s still there.
Waiting for you to DECIDE that you’re tired of living this life.
This heavy, sad, miserable little existence that you buy into day after day.
She’s in there, and she’s waiting… trapped deep within your soul.
She’s tried everything to get you to wake the fuck up.
She’s kicked, screamed, thrown a shit fit inside your head. She’s called you out and called your bluff more times than you can remember.
She’s shown herself to you time and time again.
And now?
Now she’s bored.
She’s tired of your ways.
She’s thrown her hands in the air and decided that she’s not playing this game anymore.
No.
She’s done fighting her case.
She’s done trying to get you to do something you’re clearly not ready for.
She’s sick of saving your ass time and time again when your will to keep going, your resilience, wains.
She’s sick of stepping up time and time again to save your ass only for you to push her back down. Tell her you don’t need her. Tell her “you got this”.
She knows you don’t.
You never had.
So now? She’s sat back, feet up on the table, playing with her nails disinterested in saving your ass.
She’s going to let you fall, let you fail.
She’s going to let you break.
Not because she doesn’t love you, but because she knows deep within that you need her to.
You need her to stop saving your ass.
You NEED to fail.
To fall flat on your ass,
To struggle, break.
Because she’s finally realised that if she stops saving you, eventually you’ll realise just how much you don’t “got this” how much you suck at this and just how much you need to drop the bullshit, the excuses, the justifications for living a lesser life.
She knows the only way for you to realise how much you hate this is for her to let you.
And it’s only when you fully realise this, fully accept that you need her, that you’re willing to surrender all your bullshit and finally let her break through and live life her way… only then will she take her ass off the seat.
Only then will she step up.
And it will be the last time she ever will.
Because she knows, she knows that the next time she steps up, it will be the end of you.
You’ll finally let go,
finally, stop fighting the person you are deep inside.
You’ll finally let the real you break through and start showing up in a way you’ve been too scared to allow up until now.
And once she steps up?
You’ll look in the mirror, you’ll see the fire in your eyes.
Your head held high, shoulders back,
Cool, calm confidence that only she can bring to this life.
She’ll see you in the back of her mind,
And she’ll give you a nod.
Because you’ll be the one sat in the back of her mind, feet up on the table, wondering why the fuck you were trying to do everything so badly when she handles it so much better.
And you’ll give each other a nod because she knows that without you, she wouldn’t be who she is, and without her, you’d never have had the chance to step into the light.
