Do you ever notice that you constantly compare yourself to whoever’s nearby? It’s not just you, it’s me too… in fact, it’s a lot of us – the majority of us.
We look at those we know, the people we meet, we figure out how old they are, look at what they’re doing and then start to subconsciously compare who we are and what we’re doing in line with them.
Or is it?
Why do we do it?
We all know that we’re all different, we all have different interests, skills, strengths, ways of working, etc. Yet we can’t help it.
We take account of who they are, how old they are
Are they my age?
were they in my year at school? Yes? No?
How come they’re where they are and I’m not?
How did they get so far ahead, or so far behind?
Why didn’t they live up tot he potential that school said they had, or how come they far exceeded the expectation that school set?
There are so many reasons and questions, yet ultimately..
Why does it even matter?!
Because it’s how our minds have been wired.
From an early age, 3-5ish, we’ve been put with people our own ages and expected to just fit in – hit the same milestones, progress at the same rates, know the same things, do the same things.
Then we’ve been compared to those around us – who knows what? who knows most? who learns faster? Who gets higher scores… because that’s where all this lot fits together, isn’t it?
Why else would we be so hell-bent on comparing ourselves to everyone around us, no matter how ridiculous the notion is when you think about it objectively. – We’re not all the same, and there is so much more to each of us than an age bracket.
We all live life differently, have different priorities, different responsibilities, different interest, and yet, none of that means anything when we look around at what other people are doing.
We’re doing ourselves no favours.
So how do we break free from this bullshit?
Just accept that you are you – no one else.
You’re doing what you know, living your life in the way that has worked for you up to now, whether it’s BS and you hate where you current;y are – based on your own wants and needs, and not what you can see of those around you! – then fine, you can start to move and change. But DO NOT, under any circumstances feel like you need to or should be doing something else just because that’s how others are living their lives.
Take a look at where you are, and where you’ve been up to now.
What’s been happening/happened in your life?
Were you handed a curveball in life that derailed from your original plan?
Have you taken time out to do something else instead of just pushing through life on the same track that you started on?
Did you realise that where you started and the path you were headed down wasn’t for you and you hated it and where you were heading (this could be both good or bad, if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work; success does not equal happiness!)
So what’s it all about?
Stop comparing yourself to others.
If you want to compare yourself to anyone or anything… compare you to You… where you were, and where you wanna be. For you, no one else.
If you want to be living a certain way, have a certain life; measure if you’re closer to it today than you were yesterday. It’s got nothing to do with your age, and it has even less to do with what anyone else is doing.
It’s YOUR life. Live it YOUR way.
There are plenty of examples of people out there who didn’t have their level of success until later in life in all areas, and even more who didn’t really find their true purpose until spending years of trying other things.
So don’t worry if it’s not all aligning perfectly right now, or it’s not “working” just yet.
The time will come.
Let it happen.