Slow, slow, slow… slow… stop

Ugh, it’s so boring, all the slowing down.
But you should, you need to.
You need to step away from the push push pushing of life and all its chaos and crazy
But then you slow so much you get to a crawl, then you stop, and then what happens?
You’re bored outta your damn mind! That’s what.

You can’t do anything, you’ve “slowed ya roll” so well that there’s no roll left, you’re just a lump sat amongst the other lumps doing fuck all and it’s boring and depressing as fuck.

So what do you do?

You keep sitting, keep slowing, keep listening to the people telling you to slow, that slow is good.
So you sit, and you wait, and you breathe…

Breathing’s always good, if nothing else it keeps you alive, so you breathe, slow, deep, hold, release, and then you clear your mind, one thought, then the next til there’s nothing left.
Nothing more than an existential vacuum, waiting for inspiration, a light, a spark, something, anything.

Just wait.
Keep on waiting.
Nothing,
more nothing.
shit.
Now what?

Huh… maybe there is such thing such a thing as too slow…

But how were you to know?
Slow is the latest thing we’re all told to be. It’s good for us to try it sometimes. And it makes sense, you want to be present, tuned in.
You want to wait until the opportune moment, and really have it be perfect.
You want to avoid that risk of burn out from overdoing everything.
You want to take life at a steady pace and enjoy all that it has to offer, even if what’s on offer is sitting on your ass doing nothing and feeling like you’re watching paint dry, right?

I mean… that’s not entirely what you’re supposed to do.
Yeah, slow down and pay attention, don’t miss your life by push push pushing the whole time, but what if that’s how you like it?
Are you still supposed to slow down? Take it one step, one thing at a time?

It can be easy to take that too literally.
It’s like waiting… you can get so wrapped up in waiting that you forget to do the damn thing you were waiting to do! Heck, if I get to waiting too long, I can even forget to pour the water into the coffee cup. Maybe my attention spans too short, or maybe I’ve got too much else going on, or that I want to do.

But therein lies the problem… my mind works too fast for me sometimes.
Should I train myself to slow down?
After all, it does cause problems from time to time – wanting to get everything done all the time leads to other things not being done. I just can’t focus, or I get distracted. Things get left behind, either incomplete or never even started.
It’s where some of my greatest strengths and greatest weaknesses collide – ALL the ideas, not much on the follow-through.

It’s a balancing act that’s not that easy to balance.

On the one hand, wanting to do so many things is a great way to be, having so many ideas, and things that you want to do, want to implement or try out – it’s fun. It keeps you going, keeps you excited, keeps you on your toes.

Then, on the other hand, it can be a downright nightmare! You can’t focus on the one thing, you’re always distracted by something else, you feel like you’re switching and changing all the time. The important shit you need to get done just doesn’t happen, and before you know it you’re living in a complete mess. Literally and figuratively.

It’s OK though… it’s not all chaos.
Or at least, it doesn’t have to be.

The key point is some of us like to go slow, sit in silence and watch the world pass us by.
Some of us like the grind and the push, the constant rush of getting everything done and crossed off our lists.
But really, as with most things, balance is key.

It’s the ebb and flow of life – sometimes we’re meant to rush, push forward and sprint through life, and sometimes we’re meant to take it easy, kick back and watch the world go by.
It would be crazy to think we could do things any other way!

This ebb and flow are exactly what I’m reading about now, and it’s fascinating stuff!
We’re not built to run our lives just one way, we need to start embracing all that we have going on, and the different ways we need to work in order to create a happy and fulfilled life.

If you want to learn more about it, I highly recommend Soul Modes by Carlie Maree. Trust me, it will open your eyes, and make sense of all the times you’ve felt out of control, or “wrong” in some way.

 

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