debbiebradleyNow then, did I get your attention?
Good.
Because it’s a lie.
I’m not bored. OK, maybe a little, but it’s a healthy amount of bored. The kind that induces creativity, not the type that has me laid on the sofa staring at the TV whilst mindlessly eating my body weight in junk food.
I’m not miserable. Actually, I’m feeling kinda calm and secure, probably for the first time in years. It’s like the lack of options around me right now have taken away all the things I thought I had to be doing or thought I should be doing. Y’know, the distractions. Those shitty little things that constantly keep you second-guessing your every move.
And yeah, OK… I reckon everyone else should be too. (That bit wasn’t a “lie” as such)
See, I’ve spent my life silently questioning “normal” – what is normal? Is it how most people went about their days? Spent their lives chasing a job, for money, to pay for things that couldn’t fully enjoy because they had to work to get money to pay for them? Ugh, it gives me a headache.
It’s not “normal”. It’s just common.
The common way of thinking that we should all live our lives mindlessly following orders, working for what we’re allowed. ALLOWED. Not entitled to, not what we want, but what we’re ALLOWED.
Why the fuck would I want to live my life being told how much money I’m allowed. Or what holiday time I’m allowed.
Or what time I’m allowed to spend at home with my family, or see my friends…
Nah… I don’t want that life.
Same as I don’t wanna be told that I have to learn a certain way or work a certain way, and I don’t want to perpetuate that idea to those around me because “that’s how it is, and that’s how it’s always been, and that’s how it should be, and…” bblllaahhhh.
Fuck that!
It’s boring, draining.
It’s the equivalent of walking around every day and saying to everyone you meet “hey, I’m bored, and I’m miserable and you should be too” No thanks, I’m good.
I’ll opt out of that bullshit just as easily now, in fact, no, probably easier now, than I did 10 years ago when I woke up, looked around and realised that I was living in a world where everyone was bored and miserable and expected everyone else to be too… Why? “Because that’s just how it is!” That’s the “reality”. It’s what’s “normal”
It’s just how the world works.
Ugh, I just died a little more inside. Shoot me now, this can’t be real, it can’t be right!
Actually, no. Don’t shoot me. Leave me be.
Do yourself a favour and WAKE THE FUCK UP!!
Just because you’re bored, and miserable and slowly dying inside doesn’t mean the rest of the world is, and it sure as shit doesn’t mean that the rest of the world should be.
Don’t go around inflicting your “normal” on everyone else!!
And don’t think that what’s going on inside you is “normal” either.
It’s not, it may be common, I pretty much guarantee it’s common, but it’s not normal. It’s not how things should be. Just look at the people around you, the ones you talk to day in, day out. They feel it too, right? So it must be normal. It’s just how it is, this thing we call life.
You get up, get dressed, go to work, come home, do it again, over and over on repeat. You ask permission to take time off and work your ass off in the hopes you might get just another coin or two for your efforts. “Please sir, can I have some more?” No.
Wait, you thought that just because you’re not asking for more gruel that you’re somehow different to the boy? No… sorry.
There’s this whole perpetuating belief that this is normal when in actual fact, it’s merely common.
That’s why you have those friends, or see “those people on the internet” that live those happy-go-lucky lives, tra-la-la-ing all over the place without a care in the world, and they just seem to be able to brush everything off, roll with the punches, get back up, and carry on as though nothing has happened. Are they even human?! What kind of fuckery is this, where people can live in such a way? How can they do it? What’s the secret, what are they hiding? And what do you mean they’re happy with very little? Or even effortlessly get a shit ton of everything they want.
Newsflash: we all get a shit ton of what we want, the only difference is what we’re after. But, what’s the difference?
Well… chances are if they’re people you know, they’ve probably told you time and again, either directly or indirectly. Yet you haven’t bothered to listen to them, or take them seriously… why? Because you’re too busy living in the “I’m bored and miserable, and everyone else in the world should be too” world.
And why do you do it?
Probably because you don’t know any different, or maybe, just maybe… because you’re too scared to give up that idea that this is the only way, and that someone else could be right.
I get it. We don’t like to be wrong. No one does, that is quite normal. But, what’s also common is the refusal to accept an alternative viewpoint or idea.
We turn into stubborn asses that close our ears and eyes, shouting “blah, blah, blah” over anyone who dares tell us otherwise. Then when they stop trying to explain it and step away, you wonder what’s wrong. Seriously??
Is that how this is going to be? Is this how you want to live your life? Refusing to listen, then getting shitty when people stop trying to explain, show or help you?
Give up. Don’t make me laugh. You can’t have it both ways.
If you’re one of those people that walks around thinking that everything has to be difficult, that everything comes at a price (namely happiness, or contentment) please stop trying to convince anyone who doesn’t live like that that they should give up their way to join you. They’re never gonna!! Why would they want to? You’re not exactly selling it as a fun way to live.
And while you’re at it… do yourself a favour, take a look around, pay attention to what’s going on “out there” in the lives of those who live that weird and wonderful way.
Take stock of how they are and how they see and treat things in their world.
Usually, they’re grateful, they love what they have, even if it’s not the fullest version of what they want, they’re still appreciative of what they have right now, even if it just temporary, or not the thing they ultimately want (they’re probably also aware that once they get what they want, they’ll want something else. People are fickle like that)
They’re probably happy and content with their own company too. They can entertain themselves endlessly for hours, busying themselves with life and all it has to offer.
That’s not to say they don’t enjoy other peoples company, they probably do, but they don’t rely on it for entertainment, distraction or happiness.
They try new things, and if they can’t do the thing they want to, they find a way around it. Maybe they like to travel, but they can’t right now for whatever reason, so they busy themselves finding out about the places they want to visit; the heritage, the culture, language… they don’t expect the world to change to accommodate them, they do what they can to explore even more of the world. They bring the world to them.
And they don’t rely on other people for validation or entertainment. Those people who live in the “happy-go-lucky” world are quite comfortable in who they are, and how they live their life. They don’t need constant reassurance that they’re a nice person. Usually, they’re the bitch that will say it how it is and call you out, they don’t bother with platitudinous bullshit. And they’re not spending their days calling on everyone they know to entertain them, reassure them and “cure their ills”. They’re absurdly self-reliant, and they don’t see why everyone around them can’t be too.
How did they get there? Well… maybe they were just born that way, or MAYBE, they woke up one day, stuck their middle finger up at the world and said “Fuck you! I’m not buying into this bullshit anymore, I’m gonna do shit my way, it might not be easy, but it’ll sure as hell be a fun ride” and they remind themselves of that self-declaration every time things get tough.
They’d rather have “tough” on their terms, rather than someone else’s.
It’s just the way it is.
Perhaps you’re one of the self-reliant. Perhaps you’re one of those bored miserable people that expects everyone else to be too… I’m not saying either is inherently wrong. I’ve been both.
What I am saying is there are lessons in both worlds. You just need to pay attention.
Perhaps, when people have fallen into that world of boredom, misery and constant pushing, they struggle to see a way out. Perhaps they just need some encouragement, direction and reassurance that their world will not crumble, but it will change, and that change is not necessarily a bad thing.
And for those of us who live a life free from the clutches of that world, we need to understand that as much as we see it as “normal” not everyone does, and sometimes a little patience and understanding are in order… But protect your space. Fiercely guard and hold onto that place that you cherish so much because fear and misery love company and they will try damn hard to have yours.
Rise above it.
