Have you ever noticed that when we’re home alone, we can feel pretty small…
we look online and see people ‘living large’ and they’re travelling the world, have great careers, successful businesses, they have ‘big’ personalities, huge experiences, meet amazing people…
“We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with…”
Who are you if you spend the most time alone? How big is your life? How far do you go? Do you stay home, alone in a small room? Or do you step outside, interact with other people, enjoy space and freedom…
I have a theory…
Do you ever feel ‘boxed in’ like you want to live and think out of the box? That you’re due for bigger things in your life, and how you have more to give to the world…
How are you going to do that if you’re always locked away in your room on your own at home?
I get it, we live in a ‘connected world’ the internet is at our fingertips, we can connect with people in the same house to half the world away… but does it help?
Studies have shown that our connected world has led us to live more secluded lives.
Even people with the most extreme introverted tendencies, still need human contact from time to time.
Humans are social creatures. We need to physically interact with other people… a smile across the street, a ‘Thank You’ at the checkout of the local shop, a coffee with a friend…
By shrinking our worlds to a single person, in a single room, in a house, behind a closed door… we’re shrinking our potential. We’re shrinking our real world influence.
That smile across the street, could make their day, could make yours.
Helping that elderly lady with her shopping bags could be the only interaction she has with another person this week.
Only talking to yourself, or the cat, won’t bring many new viewpoints or thoughts to mind.
Staying in the boundaries of the same little town might make you literally and figuratively restricted… you might never experience anything new, or different.
It can make “different” feel alien… like it’s not possible for people like you.
When we’re watching TV or a movie, we know it’s fiction. What’s to say our brains don’t start interpreting real life/world events on the screen in a similar way? We know it’s real, but we’re detached from it… it’s not tangible to us.
You’ve heard it before, you’ve probably said it yourself “It’s alright for people like them” or “yeah, but what about for normal people like us?”
What is normal?
Is normal staying home, staring at a screen, admiring the lives of the rich and famous and acting like they’re some characters of reality, putting them down in sulky tones and the “alright for some” mentality?
Or is it living a big life, having millions in the bank, driving a luxury car, staying in the best places, meeting other wealthy affluent people?
Well? Which is it?
It can’t be both…. Can it?
Yes… it can, It is.
Your normal is only normal to you… you can’t imagine living a bigger life because you don’t know it.
Those living a wealthy life probably can’t imagine living on the breadline. Or living with less than they already do.
Some of them may well remember it, a lot of them will have built themselves up from the ground up, are “self made”
It’s not because they believed their “small” existence was the only “real” way to live.
It’s because they believed in something bigger. Better.
They knew in their souls that all those things we see on TV, and read about in the glossy magazines, or gossip websites (cos we’re in the 21st century, most glossy mags are now on screens! I should remember that)
They believed it was possible for them too.
They knew it deep within their hearts.
And they went for it, embraced it as real, and maybe they fought their way there beyond the Goblin City to get the riches they deserved.
And yes, they deserve them. Because they worked for them.
Because we all deserve them if we truly put our heart and soul into believing that something is possible and working for it.
Why would we chose to live with pain?
Because sometimes it’s all that we know.
And sometimes, we can choose to let that pain sit with us and create more pain.
Sometimes (often) we learn to just accept that pain, and learn to live with it.
Why would you want to do that?
But where does that pain stem from?
It can go back to that thing I said before… knowing that we’re meant for more, for bigger things.
Feeling small when we’re fully aware there’s a big wide world out there waiting for us, yearning to be explored.
Knowing that we could explore, be, do and have more.
Move beyond these boundaries… this little box that we’ve built ourselves into.
Why would we try to move beyond that?
We’re OK here, we’re safe here.
This pain if bearable.
It’s like a dull aching as opposed to a searing pain.
You can numb it… with weekend drinks, or evening drinks… probably too many drinks, but you don’t realise it any more, because they, like the pain, crept up, slowly increased.
Maybe it’s not alcohol that you use to close out the pain, maybe it’s “comfort food” chocolate, ice cream, pizza… that junk food that you know isn’t good for you, but feels good in the moment, that you still regret later when your jeans don’t fit.
Is that how you close out the pain?
Maybe you take it further still and use drugs to numb that pain… is that really the easier option? To numb yourself, so instead of feeling small you feel nothing?
How about you try going the other way…
Feel the pain.
Let that wash over you, get used to it.
Embrace it Then change it…
Step outside of that feeling… move beyond that border.
Give yourself room to grow
What’s the worst that can happen?