I have big dreams, goals and ambitions.
I want a big life.

But at the minute I feel like I’m sinking at the bottom of Harvey’s first “this”, or at least I feel like I am.
So I’m making changes.
Change 1 – sort out my mornings.
Mornings are hard, especially when it’s dark. I don’t like getting up, I’m tired, I’m fed up, it’s all a bit shit.
But it’s more than that. I know this as a warning sign for my mental health… it’s an indicator that I’m tired, but not just physically; emotionally.
I’m tired of the stress and strain, of holding it all together, of being responsible for everything, and trying to keep my head above water without an easy way out.
This could be the beginning of a downward spiral that I’d rather not travel down again.
It’s been a tough few months, in fact, this year has probably been harder than last year for various reasons, and I’ve been trying to focus on my bigger goals, whilst letting life in the present crumble.
Lesson: you can’t leap from crumbling ground.
You need a firm footing to get you started. Something I’ve been ignoring.
So I’m rebuilding my foundations – my morning routine.
How?
The 5 Second Rule.
I listened to the audiobook by Mel Robbins last year, and I liked what she said. Since then I’ve become a big fan of Mel Robbins and what she teaches.
I also relate to her story of not wanting to drag my ass outta bed in a morning and each day being one long drag into the next, so I’m listening to the book again.
The audiobook is less than 8 hours long, so I can listen to it in one day, or 2 at a push.
I’ve decided to listen to it on repeat until every last word has sunk into my brain, a bit like the song lyrics to my favourite albums, and the entire script of Grease (my mum still won’t watch that film with me in the room!)
I’m on a mission to get my ass moving in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…
My alarm is set for 6:45… I’m not a 5 am person, I see no glory in that. I don’t need it yet.
It’s been working well for the past few days, but only after I adjusted what I did.
My alarm is on my phone, the phone goes on top of the tallest bookshelf in my room. I have to get out of bed to turn it off.
I was getting back in bed because it’s cold, and falling back to sleep – not good.
Now I leave the room.
Phone beeps; I get up. Turn it off. Leave the room. Drag my butt to the kitchen, make a coffee and sit on the sofa for a few minutes while the caffeine does its thing (and the bright lights kickstart my brain).
That’s my new wake up routine. It’s working, I don’t completely hate it now, and it’s only been a few days.
It’s getting easier already.
I just need to keep it up.